Why I Love Failure More Than Success
Just recently I finished reading the Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck by Mark Manson. This book doesn’t teach you about how to not care about things in life, but how to purposefully choose what to care about. Here’s a quote from the book that resonated with me:
“Problems never stop; they merely get exchanged and/or upgraded … Happiness is a constant work-in-progress, because solving problems is a constant work-in-progress — the solutions to today’s problems will lay the foundation for tomorrow’s problem, and so on. True happiness occurs only when you find the problems you enjoy having and enjoy solving.”
Mark Manson goes on more in the book about how we can’t avoid having problems because everything in which we do in some shape or form is a problem in itself. So basically the moral of the story is that problems are necessary in life in order to grow and from solving those problems we learn to be happy.
So why do I love failure more than success? I think in order to understand my reasoning I should tell you a little about my experiences in which lead me to this conclusion.
I’m 22 years old and a senior at one of the best private universities in the country studying Computer Science and Business with a minor in Entrepreneurship. My 4 years here have not been as smooth as some other students. I’m not a 4.0 student, heck I’m not even a 3.0 student, my current gpa is a 2.69. Some might say that’s not a good gpa and employers will look at that and think I’m not a good student, but I get to differ. I’m proud of my 2.69, because that number doesn’t define me; to me it just represents how much hard work I’ve put in and how much more improvement there is to be achieved.
Throughout my years here in college I have failed left and right. My first semester freshman year I got a D- in calculus 1, which didn’t meet the prerequisite requirement of a C-. After retaking the class the next semester I got an A, but I was put at risk of losing my financial aid because I fell below the credit requirement for my first semester. My girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me. I went through one of the most depressing years of my life. Then that following semester I had the worst semester gpa ever with 3 C-’s and F on my transcript. I had to petition for my financial aid for the following semester. And every summer up until now I have taken summer classes after failing other classes or to keep up to graduate on time. I’ve never had an internship, I’ve been rejected by just about every company I have applied for. I never had the opportunity to study abroad or do many of the “cool” experiences you hear some students do while in college.
But, despite all this I’m thankful for it. Because I was dumped, I was able to really put myself out there socially. I met some amazing people, I found an amazing new girlfriend and even joined a fraternity. Because I almost lost my financial aid and had to petition for it, I realized I wasn’t in a major I enjoyed (at the time Civil Engineering). And even though my new major wasn’t any easier, I picked my problems that were worth having and solving. Every class that I ever had to retake during the summers I ended up Acing them. Because of my continual rejections for internship offerings I learned I still need to improve my skills and put myself out there. Because of my failures I changed my perception of what success meant to me. I focused on continual self improvement and formed new habits. I looked back at my failures and took the lessons out of them to keep moving forward. I changed my perception of myself and who I wanted to be. Because of all my hardships I am who I am today.
Today I am a hard working, African American, software engineer, who’s trying to make his mark in the Tech industry and the world. I am a person who values progress and continual improvement no matter how small. I am a Code2040 finalist. I am humble. I am grateful for all my experiences and those who have helped me and shared alongside my journey. I no longer fear failure, but seek it, because failure is where the real lessons are.
Conclusion
To conclude this story I want to end it with a quote by Will Smith from his Fail Forward video:
“Successful people fail a lot, they fail a whole lot more than they succeed, but they extract the lessons from the failure and they use that, the energy and they use the wisdom to come around to the next phase of success.”
I wrote this blog post for those who are struggling in their paths right now. Especially if you’re in college and struggling academically. I want to let you all know that with each failure comes growth. That it’s okay to fail, and that pain is only temporary. You have the ability to change and make the choices that will ultimately make you happy. With due time, success will come you just have to find the problems worth solving. Look back on your failures, pick out the lessons, and continue to improve and progress. And remember some progress is better than no progress.
